The Mysterious Metal Buck

So, I ended up meeting someone...a man. His name is Magnum (nickname for obvious reasons), he's really pretty. Anywhoo, we ended up going to my mothers for a quick visit. Needless to say, we fed him and let him play Wii, so he stayed a while. Thirteen hours is awhile right? Well, after he beat my mother...(at Wii you horrible people) we ended up going for a walk in my hometown place. We happened to stumble across a really mysterious figure in the night...and ever since then, we've been calling it a moose, but I have to correct myself and say, it is not a moose, it's a buck. Moose would have fit way better in the title of this post though.

He decided to befriend the buck by giving it a nice big hug, and well, I am sure you can tell what I did to the buck...not really a pretty sight.

I Purposely Ingest Germs On A Daily Basis

I went to the grocery store this morning…which is kind of stupid, I should go later at night when all the old, slow people are in bed and not clogging up the isles like a bad taco salad in your colon.

In our local grocery store, there are sanitary wipes. I don’t use them, and I will never use them. However, some people feel the need to lecture me about it, and surprisingly it’s not the old, slow people. Apparently from what I have gathered, young people feel inclined to believe that H1N1 is actually a RISK.

So, this young pessimistic woman comes up to me telling me how stupid and selfish it is of me to not keep my germs to myself, when I kindly tell her that in fact, I am actually saving my life and the lives of others.

How you ask? Well, by not using sanitary wipes and that alcohol shit some natives like to drink, I am not deteriorating my hands of necessary germs to keep my body healthy. I am in fact, building up my immune system to fight off these germs and these illnesses naturally, which in turn prevents me from getting sick, which prevents me from spreading illness to others.

Then I begin to tell her how sick it makes me that she believes everything the government decides to throw into her brain, making her quite clueless as to what is actually going on in the world. Apparently that offended her, because she walked away.

I will still refrain from using any type of sanitary device or product, I will still eat food I have dropped on the floor, I will still not overcook my meat to make sure germs are dead, and I sure as hell am still going to eat food past the expiry date.

I’ll only say this once people, the government instills fear on us for one reason and one reason only. MONEY. The government doesn’t care about your safety or the safety of anyone else, and neither to drug companies…so shut your pie hole and educate yourselves properly. Learn to form your own opinions about things rather than believing everything in the media. Please.

I don’t want to have to slap a snausage in your face in the frozen meat department for being stupid.