The Fake Chicagian - How I Met Mike

It was a somewhat warm late summer's day. Amanda and I were getting ready at her gay cousin's house for a party on a boat. Earlier that day we went shopping at the grand Value Village because we apparently needed nautical wear, (which she hesitated to tell me until we got to Value Village.) I wanted to go as a pirate, thinking I would get all the booty if I did, but apparently that wasn't "acceptable".

Since it's her job, I picked out an outfit, but it was too big on me. I gave it to Amanda because she picked out an outfit that made her look like a pirate had eaten a sailor and vomited him back up onto her. I ended up choosing to wear a sweater with short shorts...something practical and non-slutty, just the way I like it. Amanda didn't like it that way though, so she forced me to wear a nautical themed bikini top. I threw a jacket over it and wasn't planning on removing it anytime soon.

We got to the boat, and it slowly drifted off to river. (Yeah, it was just a riverboat, nothing special.) As time ticked away, the dancing I was enduring made my body sweat like a boiling pig. By this time, I had a couple beers and felt comfortable enough to take my jacket off and not care what anyone thought of me.

It appears I was a little greasy too, huh?

So that's me, bearing my half naked upper to a good dozen of strangers on a boat. That stranger I believe is from another country and is documenting his journey to Canada. He's got a good picture to show mom there.

All of a sudden I see this...man. A man so grand. A man made of pure steel and chiseled features. I went up and asked him if I could borrow my lighter, and realized that was the alcohol's view of him. He's actually just normal, which made him even better. Then he tells me he's from Chicago. Dammit. Why is it that when I meet a guy I want to fall in love with, they're from Chicago!?

So, we talked, we danced...and we spent most of the time on the boat with each other. I later invited him over to my place where we watched Super Troopers and went to sleep together...(no cream?) No cream. 

A couple days later, I went to a frat/sorority social and ended up going back to my place with Mike again, where we slept together. (Still no cream?) No cream.

Tuesday came around, where I asked him if he would like to hangout again before he leaves on Wednesday to Chicago, and I get the most amazing text back...

I do, but I have to tell you i'm not from the states. We thought it would be fun to pretend. I didn't plan on meeting anyone cool. I felt like we had to keep it going. Didn't mean to hurt anyone. I think you're really cool and i'd like to hang out with you if you're not extremely upset with me.

Upset? I was a) laughing and b) happier than a fat kid with cake that he was a local! Oh joy! So then we dated, then he met my mother which pretty much made things official. He's an old school kinda guy, and this new school girl reeled him in!