How To Catch Your Boyfriend Cheating At Monopoly

Last night was yet another rousing night of Monopoly with Mike. He's the most fun person to play Monopoly with, except for the fact that the motherfucker cheats! How do I know this? Well, he was pretty sneaky. Luckily, he found himself a smart girl. First, I will start off by listing how you can be a nark at monopoly, just like me.

How To Catch Your Boyfriend Cheating At Monopoly

1. ALWAYS be the banker. This takes away more opportunities for them to cheat. Yes, it gives you the opportunity to cheat, but no one that reads my blog cheats at monopoly, we just don't do that.
2. ALWAYS count the other people's rolls, because most likely they will "miscount" "by accident." Accident my ass, Mike.
3. ALWAYS bring your boyfriend with you to any bathroom breaks, food breaks or any other sort of break. You never want to leave the board unattended or he might slip properties into the back of his boxers, or trade properties without you knowing.
4. ALWAYS make them show you their chance and community chest cards. They might try to be sly and say "You inherit $50.00" and put the card under the pile as if it were actually a good card. If they don't show you, check the card.

Number two is constantly an issue with our monopoly games, and number four was exactly how I caught Mike cheating last night. He thinks he's pretty sneaky, but he's not.

Mike's stupid hotels on Boardwalk & Park Place

Mike flaunting his cash from his work on the corner last night.

He beat me royally last night in game number one, but I beat him so badly in game number two, that he actually gave up. That was a girl's move. I always thought of him to be a "I don't quit" type of guy, but last night...was very much an "I quit, you're the best monopoly player ever and I can't beat you" type of game for him.

Sorry Mike, but the score is 2-2 for monopoly wins, and you can be sure i'm going to beat you the next time we play. You sexy cheater.

We did however think of the most amazing "addition" to our monopoly games. We have spent countless dollars on NHL "kinder surprise eggs" trying to get our favorite teams pucks and sticks. We finally got one of each and so we have now decided to use those instead of the boat and doggy.

My Montreal stick and Mike's Shit puck on GO.

You're lucky I still love you.