Attention All Women!

All I hear is that women shouldn't burp, beltch, fart, toot or not shave their legs for months at a time so they look like sasquatch. However, a friend of mine asked why it's so hard to find girls like me. Me? I burp, beltch, fart on people and moon cars as they drive past me walking on the sidewalk sometimes for fun.

So, my question to you ladies is...why the fuck would you want to be pristine? I know some "ladies" who cringe at the thought of a bad word. Shame on you! You have no sense of humor whatsoever. Fart a little, burp a little, and for god sakes drink beer! Learn to play football because it's fun. Make dirty jokes and wear hardly any makeup. Sure it's fun to dress up and be "pretty" once in awhile...but being a lady takes hardly any effort. Try being a disgusting pig once in awhile...that takes effort.

This is my new standard for women. It's not hard, it's human!